So I’ve pretty much proved that I epically suck at blogging,
as I have yet to update from my initial posts this year. However, today while I
was at the park with my son, a thought came to my head and I just needed to put
it down somewhere before I forgot about it. I’m putting it here, in my blog, because
I think it is something that we can all think about.
How many times a day do we hear the words “How are you?” and
how many times do we say it? When you have said it, were you actually sincere
in asking it? When you replied to someone asking it, were you answering
truthfully? Or did you just respond “I’m doing great!” because that is the
polite thing to say. Today I really got to thinking about this. I remember one
time, a few years back, actually responding to this question in a truthful way “I’m
really tired. I didn't sleep well last night.” After replying and having a
short conversation about it, my husband, who was standing next to me at the
time said “Megan, people typically don’t want to hear about the negatives” and
he was absolutely right. When people reply honestly to that question, it’s
awkward. We get really uncomfortable, especially if the person replying is
having a really hard time. My question is, WHY? Why do we get so uncomfortable
with reality? Why do we tend to cower away from the fact that someone is having
a rough time at that particular moment? Let’s look at this for a second from
the perspective of a person who is suffering.
We all deal with difficult times. Some deal better than
others, but regardless there have been times in all of our lives when we are
one straw away from a complete breakdown. Now imagine (or perhaps even
remember) when someone asks “How are you?” and you have to fake a reply of all
the niceties of your day. It makes you feel so much worse. It just reminds you
that you aren't doing as well as you are “supposed” to be doing. I want to put
it out in the world, that perhaps, if we stopped asking the question if we
weren't sincere, or perhaps, even better started having more interest in the
welfare of our fellow man (or woman), we would have less hopelessness in the
world. The act of just expressing your frustration or telling someone about
what’s bothering you can be quite cathartic in and of itself. Perhaps the simple action of asking someone
how their day is going and genuinely listening could brighten someone’s day so
much, it could save someone’s life. There have been multiple reports from
people who were considering committing suicide and the simple act of someone
saying “hello” was enough for them to feel not so alone.
So, it is my suggestion that we stop saying “How are you?”
so haphazardly. If you really don’t care, then just say “hello” and move on
with your day. More preferably, though, let’s start genuinely talking to each
other and more importantly, listening to each other. Perhaps your listening to
someone tell you about their horrible day will keep that one last straw from
breaking the camel’s back. You never know, you may actually save someone’s life
one day.
